Lately
I find myself trying to comprehend what this last year and a half of life has
been. What is life? It is ultimately unfathomable. I am very fortunate to have
been able to live here for as long as I have. Many people dream to be here for
even a week and I got 78. Those were beautiful, hard, challenging, growing,
tearful, joyful, bewildering, and long weeks. The Lord was in all of them. But
how am I supposed to begin to process what He has done in me because of this
place and the people who inhabit here. Man, are they great! I feel like this community represents the Kingdom well. They
are constantly dependent on each other due to the beautiful fact that Jesus is
moving here, and partially because the nearest block of society is an hour’s drive.
This place has a deep canyon that
can hold many burdens and is full of great things to take away. It has forever
changed my life.
Knowing
that I am the same person but my heart has changed makes me fearful for what is
to come; afraid of reverting to my old habits for starters. If I am able to grasp
but a hint of this heart change every day, then I can remember there is hope. The
Lord is hope. Recall from my last post in January, that I have been figuring
out how to grasp my emotions. While I still hate talking about them, they hold
truth and beauty when I allow myself to feel. They can also represent fear and
darkness but that’s when I learn to call upon love and rely on the people God
has so divinely placed in my life. He is showing me that as I love, in return I
am loved. Life is not about the décor on your walls, the clothing you wear, the
food you eat or the job you do. It is about the people; those who love you and
tell you so.
“
If everything comes down to love, then just what am I afraid of. When I call
out your name, something inside awakes in my soul. How quickly I forget I am
yours.”
Hope Now by Addison Road
As I transition into this next season, pray with me that I would never cling to what I know but rather whole heartedly keep my hands open for His grasp to guide me.
"For out of His fullness (abundance) we have all received [all had a share and were all supplied with] one grace after another and spiritual blessing upon spiritual and even favor upon favor and gift [heaped] upon gift. John 1:16 AMP
"For out of His fullness (abundance) we have all received [all had a share and were all supplied with] one grace after another and spiritual blessing upon spiritual and even favor upon favor and gift [heaped] upon gift. John 1:16 AMP
Blessings upon blessings, Kaila
