Step into fullness

As you may know, I recently moved to Virginia. I've been here a little over three months and it's been a wild ride. A few weeks ago I had an epiphany. To do my job well, I had to stick my hand in a toilet full of poopy water and remove all the paper in order to flush it. Now I know what you all may be thinking. Gross! I was ready to quit. Sorry it didn't work out Lord. I'm going back to Oregon. As I forced back the tears and swallowed my pride I realized some truth. I made it out to be a lot worse than it actually was. This could be a defining moment in my walk with the Lord. If I'm not willing to get messy, literally, what's the point of getting messy, internally. Why would I ask the Father to change me from the inside out if I can't open my eyes to what's right in front of me.

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. 

And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

Esther 4:14

Now I know I'm no queen but I get to be royalty because my Father is the King. If I quit now, how can I expect growth? Anybody can do this job but "Here I am Lord, send me." I want to be here. All in. 

"And since then, I have been wandering to find him and my happiness is so great that it even weakens me like a wound. And this is the marvel of marvels, that he called me Beloved, me who am but as a dog." 

The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis

As I ponder this journey I'm on, I can't help but think of who I used to be. The life I used to live seemed more simpler, more whole. I want to appreciate the journey. The mountains I've climbed while growing closer to the Father have drawn me into the fullness of who He created me to be. Lord I need you more than yesterday. While sometimes I feel empty, I know only you can fill that void.

"Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise;

apply your heart to what I teach,

for it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart

and have all of them ready on your lips.

So that your trust may be in the Lord,"

Proverbs 22:17-19a

Thank you that I get to be here. Thank you for hardship for the sake of growth. You are constant, truth, forever. Open my eyes to see your heart.